I would like to take a time-out from the normal bus updates to acknowledge the accomplishments of my little sister, Alex.
Despite being sisters, we really are as different as night and day. Walking down the street, you would never guess we are related. We do share a few qualities, however; one of which being that we both work very hard pursuing our dreams.
Alex is graduating from Smith college on May 15th with a double major (I think) in English and French. On top of that, she just got the news that she got her dream job at a publishing company in NYC - WOW!! This has been her dream since I can remember, so I am really proud of her for working so hard, always doing her best, and chasing after her dreams without worrying about the "what ifs" of it all.
I had talked to her on the phone on her birthday (April 19th) this past week, and she had mentioned the job, and how there were so many other better-qualified applicants than herself, but she went ahead and applied anyways.
Success comes in all sizes: it can be an intangible idea, a life-changing email, a letter of acceptance, or a 45' X 8' bus.
Alright, I almost didn't post any of this, because I didn't really accomplish much yesterday, I just spent several hours becoming frustrated and so there was nothing really to "say" about the "bus" - which is the POINT of this blog.
But then I thought about it for a second. This is everything to say about the bus, because the point of the bus is not just the END of this journey - you know? It isn't JUST to LIVE in the thing, which is going to be AMAZING, but it is about everything that comes along the way. This bus has only begun to provide the wealth of knowledge and growth and development that I am to obtain through my dedication, patience, and perseverance in working on it. So... why should I skip over these things?
Why should I hide these parts of the story?
I feel like doing so would do a disservice to myself and to my message.
There is no need to conceal the fact that I, just like everyone else in this crazy life, become: scared, angry, overwhelmed, exhausted, lost, confused, terrified, and - at times - utterly hopeless. Why hide the fact that at times I am vulnerable, inexperienced, weak, and in need of help and guidance?
This isn't just me, this is all of us at some time in life, and it is what makes us beautifully human. Sometimes the greatest thing that one can say, is simply, "I don't know" because you open up a world of opportunity for yourself. That statement can be the starting point of a journey of discovery, but it all depends on what direction you take. You can give up and close the door, or you can step forward into the unknown, embrace the challenge, and use it to make yourself a better human.
Really, who would want to "know" all of the time? Would that not make life incredibly boring? Where is the space for growth in that moment?
Yes, there is security in the comfort of knowing, but I encourage you - push the boundaries today to see what you can become!
And now, here are some videos.
So, here I am, beginning the evening. I am super-psyched, ready to pull this darn thing and get out of here and get myself some dinner. It's about 4:30 (I think is what I remember saying?) and I am expecting an hour or so of work before I can throw the radiator in the back of the car, drive it home with me, and check it out and make some calls about getting it re-cored on it Monday morning.
Yeeeaaahhh... not so much.
Here is a video from about two hours later.
I had tried to remove the large tube and a few other rusty pieces from around the engine bay that were blocking the radiator (as I mentioned in the above vid), but I ended up breaking things (ie MASSIVE hose clamp) and being unable to move them, so I tried to approach the problem from a different angle; i.e. the outside door. I discovered that what I thought were rivets holding the screen in place from the outside access door were actually small screws, so I decided to pull off the cover to the outside of the radiator and access it that way. Though there were still quite a few things to detach form the inside still, I had become frustrated from breaking heavily-rusted hose clamps and lacking the proper tools with which to right the situation. The "whiz wheel" that I am referring to in the second video is one of those air-powered cutting discs, which would slice through the thick metal clamp no problem-o.
In this video you can see that I am so frustrated and defeated that I can hardly explain myself!
While I never actually finished the task yesterday (the sun went down and it got too cold and too dark!), I didn't give up (!!!) and eventually, I did get all of those bolts undone and screws removed (or drilled out!) through some creative tool creation. Now all that I have to do is remove a few accessories that are attached to the radiator, and two large bolts at the bottom which attach it to the frame of the bus, and the thing should slide right out through the outside access door.
Lesson learned: I will save another entire day to accomplish this, and I will be armed with the appropriate tools, or at the least, the time to go get them (because, no; 5 on Sunday evening does not fall under that category!).
Some days I still can't believe everything that I went through to be where I am right now (which I don't even know where exactly THAT is, or what is next, or where I am going or where the end is!! Ah, the joys of a life of freedom and exploration!). Amazing things can happen to you and direct you down the most incredible path...
People, you can accomplish ANYTHING.
All it takes is to START.
You don't need to be ready,
you don't need to have all the money,
you don't need to have it all planned and figured out,
you don't need for the time to be perfect.
NOW is perfect.
What do you want?
Go out there and BEGIN!