Deeper into the depths of confusion

Well, the bearings are currently in a plastic zip lock bag on the floor of my kitchen and every now and then, I will forget that they are there and step on them with bare feet, or trip over them in my slippers, or kick them across the room. It’s pretty good because it’s a reminder to myself that I have to make a decision.

A few things to address here:

1) decision about what?

2) your kitchen floor? Wait, kitchen? …so, you do not live in the bus?

The latter first.

No, I am not currently living in the bus. Whatever. There is currently no floor in the bus because I ripped it out for rust repair, better insulation, and to make trap doors. In fact, here: I will share a picture of the current state of the bus. 

As soon as there is a floor in the bus, I will live in it again. Well, as soon as the engine runs, maybe. I am working in Cambridge, MA right now and the bus is in Pawtucket. Long commute, and I am without a car since my rabbit is still in storage until another few rainstorms get rid of enough salt to keep her rust-free.

The former: decision about what?

Augh. Engine stuff. That’s what. The best way to make one good engine out of two crappy ones. There is a “best” way to do it. There is also a “cheap” way to do it, and I am sure that there is the “cheapest” way to do it, and these 3 ways may have nothing in common with one another, and if you start to throw in more variables, such as “easy” or “according to the manual” or “in the advice of a DD service tech” or “what Joe says is good” or…

All of this information being thrown at me and it is up to my pigeon brain to process it all and make a damn decision one way or the other.

I was actually feeling so scattered that I had to get the information out of my head, but I have been finding it really difficult to write recently. I think that this may be due to the fact that I have decided that I want to become a writer, because I love to write and I do it often, but now suddenly I find myself with a constant case of debilitating writer’s block. Augh! So, as I was riding my bike from Pascale’s in Pawtucket to the coffee shop in Providence where I was meeting up with a friend, I whipped out my voice recorder and started talking and talking and talking and talking and just spewed it all out in verbal form and it felt amazing!! I am contemplating listening to it and writing it down verbatim and then posting it, or figuring out how to make it into a voice clip and posting it here for you to listen to my insanity. The second option may be a little embarrassing for me, because I was talking with only the intention of myself hearing it, but hey; we are all human, and we all sound kind of stupid every now and then, and if you know me personally, then you have witnessed this first-hand and still talk to me, so whatever. I may post it. We’ll see.

But anyways, a friend gave me a couple bunches of collard greens for free from “Food not Bombs” yesterday and I am hungry and I need my calcium, so I am going to eat the big pot of sautéed collard greens that I just made and contemplate this puzzle with a full tummy a little later.